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    Weight loss: Daily Q&A Post for Thursday, 10 December 2020 - No question too small!

    Weight loss: Daily Q&A Post for Thursday, 10 December 2020 - No question too small!


    Daily Q&A Post for Thursday, 10 December 2020 - No question too small!

    Posted: 10 Dec 2020 02:00 AM PST

    Got a question? We've got answers!

    Do you have question but don't want to make a whole post? that's fine. Ask right here! What is on your mind? Everyone is welcome to ask questions or provide answers. No question is too minor or small.

    TIPS:

    • Include your stats if appropriate/relevant (or better yet, update your flair!)
    • Check the FAQ and other resources in the sidebar!
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    Under 200 pounds for the first time in my adult life!!!

    Posted: 10 Dec 2020 09:07 AM PST

    5'8 Male over 330 lbs early in this year, if you told me on January 1st of this year that I would be under 200 lbs before the end of the year, I would have been more likely to believe that the lives of the entire world would be upended by a global pandemic than me losing over 130 pounds in a year. This was the year where I was able to find the secret ingredient to basically have a "perfect" time with weight loss and lose 2-3 lbs/week on average with a BMI in the high 40's to low 50's for most of my late teen to adult life. Motivation is key, and it's something that can't be taught. I've always known what it takes to have successful weight loss, but always lacked the drive to steer away from the instant gratification that eating too much and drinking too much brought. I've always been a social eater/drinker and I was able to use the changes the pandemic brought to my advantage and my wife and I now make almost all of our meals at home. I've been able to make healthy lifestyle changes to be able to still eat and drink everything that I enjoy, much more in moderation, and stick to a 1200-2500 calorie/day range, with an average daily calorie target of 1700-1800 calories. It's worked and it has paid off.

    Fad diets and restrictive diets that may work well for some people have historically never worked well for me, so I stuck with my calorie counting and have logged over 250 days on MFP, and it's paying off. This won't work for everyone, but it worked for me. The key is to still enjoy what you want to enjoy and have the diet just be something that will come more naturally over time, everyone is different.

    I am now within 15 lbs of my father who was never obese in his adult life, and weigh much less than my mother who has had a weight problem her whole life, and through whom I developed unhealthy eating habits as a kid. My mom is somewhat motivated, and I hope she sticks with it, but motivation is something that can't be taught. Some words of advice that I saw from someone on this sub (in the century club thread) that I shall paraphrase "It takes a long time to get good at something, losing weight is a skill like any other that needs to be developed."

    My wife got me a fitbit for my birthday in mid April in order to keep me motivated, and I think it worked, considering I'm down 102 lbs since getting it . I am now imminently about to be out of the obese range for my height, so I think that goal was accomplished! From a 3/4xl to a large (even the large is a tad loose now), from a size 50 pants/jeans to a size 36 (I was a size 40 in 6th grade!!), I have blown my own goals (to be down 100 lbs by March 2021) out of the water.

    For those of you struggling, I've been there. Don't be discouraged, just keep searching to find what works for you. Losing weight will be a difficult challenge, but it can and should be fun and enriching. If it doesn't feel that way for you, make some changes. And do not make changes just because they worked for someone else. Do what works for you. Stay safe out there friends, and Happy Holidays.

    EDIT: Thank you sooooo much for the gold!!!

    submitted by /u/MarlnBrandoLookaLike
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    I'm no longer overweight!

    Posted: 11 Dec 2020 12:11 AM PST

    After 2.5 months of calorie counting, volume eating, starting an antidepressant, daily yoga and riding the bike to work, the scale finally hit 68.0 kg today (that's 149.9 pounds)! I started off at 78.5 (that's 173 pounds) at a height of 165 cm (5'5''). My BMI is at a beautiful 24,9!

    The turning point for me was the photos of our son's first birthday and christening. I look like a very tired and old monastery cat.

    So now I'm back at normal weight again! Whoohoo! I can also see it very much on my body, the yoga gave me nice muscles, especially in the arm/shoulder/upper back/collar bone area. The armpit fat is gone, my face looks younger and I'm kinda cute again. I would love to lose a bit more lower tummy fat and also between the thighs, so I can wear a dress again in the summer without getting sore. I would also like to pick up running again, just so i can eat more, especially around Christmas.

    When I look at last summer's photos, all I'm thinking is: 1. How could I let this happen? 2. Why didn't I take an antidepressant earlier? 3. Well, that's a great 'before' picture!

    :)

    submitted by /u/suffraghetti
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    My therapist invalidated my weight loss, and it upset me more than I thought

    Posted: 10 Dec 2020 05:59 AM PST

    (long post, sorry. TLDR at the bottom if you don't wanna read)

    (P.s. mods I'm sorry if this doesn't go here I've never posted in this group idk where else this would go)

    So quick background, I've lost about 75lbs and I'm aiming to lose about another 10lbs. I lost it through good old fashioned calorie counting and exercise—VERY healthily. It took me 2.5 years (lots of breaks and slip ups along the way lol). I walk my dog 30 minutes a day, I strength train 3x a week, I eat about 1700cals to lose, and I've also implemented maintenance breaks now that I'm getting close to the end.

    Anyways, I started seeing this therapist about 4 months ago because decided after spending so long fixing my physical health, I really should stop ignoring my mental health. She's been really great and has helped me through a lot of stuff. That is, until my last session.

    I had been really avoiding talking about my weight loss because I don't really trust people with that information. Almost everyone has some kind of agenda and will tell you that either you're doing it wrong or you're wrong for doing it. However, I had built up such a rapport with her that I felt comfortable to just bring it up casually. I can't even remember how it came up, but I just offhand was like "I've lost 75lbs" and she raises her eyebrows and goes "ok stop, let's talk about that". She spends the next 45 minutes talking about how counting calories is bad for me, that I'm ruining my metabolism, that I should be intuitive eating, that I could be obese/overweight and healthy. I try to explain to her that as an obese/overweight person I was severely depressed, anxious, always sick, and afraid of living my life, that now I feel so much better and that I really have a healthy relationship with exercise and food where I didn't before. She didn't really believe me, and the conversation ended with "I see your point of view, but I'm not going to validate this. You were good enough then and you're good enough now. We'll put a pin in this and you can come to me if ever you're ready".

    I left the session feeling really angry at first that I had spent my time and money on someone lecturing me about something I didn't feel was a problem, but then I realized it was something more. I had been deeply hurt by someone that I trusted. As I said, I don't usually bring it up because the people in my life are not kind about it. When I told her, I thought I would finally have someone who would tell me they were proud of me for bettering my life, for facing a problem head on and fixing it. But instead I was met with even more negativity as disapproval.

    My problem now is that I can't stop thinking about it. I can't help thinking that maybe she's somewhat right, and that maybe all these years of weight loss—all the days of saying no, working out when I wasn't in the mood, ignoring a grumbly stomach until mealtime—was for nothing, that I've wasted my time and should just go back to where I was before. I have been shovelling food into my mouth for two days to try and quell the emotional discomfort, but so far this hasn't worked. I fear I will continue trying.

    So here's where I'll put the TLDR and get to the point:

    TL;DR: My therapist treated me like I have an ED when I know I don't, pushed her HAES agenda on me, and now I'm really hurt by it wondering if all my weight loss is worthless, all the benefits are made up in my head, and whether it's worth it to keep going.

    Has this happened to anybody else? Am I being dramatic? Where do I go from here? How do I stop feeling upset about this and start getting back to a place where I feel excited and motivated by my weight loss goals? SHOULD I even do that??? Ugh.

    submitted by /u/inevitably317537
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    SV: Lost 40 pounds from HW (and still going strong!) NSV: I’ve lost INCHES around my body and gained some actual real self love for the first time ever.

    Posted: 10 Dec 2020 09:56 AM PST

    F/28/5'4. SW/HW 225. CW 184.8. GW 150?

    Started getting serious about losing in late May 2020. Didn't take a single progress picture until July 2020. I wish I had taken one sooner!

    Progress pic (NSFW): left picture is 12/5 (184.8), right picture is 7/16 (206.2). https://imgur.com/a/L7rM2A0

    Tape measurements: Since August, I have been recording tape measurements to record some additional info. This has been amazing progress to see, and is definitely way more motivating than my weight. 8/2020: Neck: 14.5. Thigh: 27. Arm: 13. Waist: 37.5. Hips: 44.5. Bellybutton: 40.5. 12/2020: Neck: 14. Thigh: 24. Arm: 12.5. Waist: 34.5. Hips: 41.5. Bellybutton: 36. FOUR AND A HALF INCHES AROUND MY TUMMY!!!! And it feels so good.

    Exercise: I've been running 1-3 miles, 3 times/week. And I follow the minimalist bodyweight fitness routines 3 times/week. Fitness is definitely not the most important part of my weight loss, CICO is my main focus.

    Food: I follow CICO without too much regard for macros. I need to be lenient with myself and kind of go with the flow or I end up binging from feeling too restricted. I'm on maintenance right now for a month (my reward for 40 pounds loss since starting) of 1800-1900. When cutting, I eat 1300-1450 depending on exercise schedule, mental health, etc.

    Mental: I've been overweight/obese for nearly 2 decades. I've tried losing weight more times than I can ever count, and I've never been nearly this successful with any attempt. Taking my mental health more seriously, I believe, is the key to my success thus far. I've been in weekly CBT since February 2020 and I would not be here without my amazing therapist!

    My wholly unsolicited advice... TAKE FREQUENT PROGRESS PICS!!! Especially at the beginning even if it doesn't feel good to see them. It feels so good to see the changes after you've made them.

    submitted by /u/mod-bogwitch
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    What I’ve found with maintenance etc

    Posted: 10 Dec 2020 03:16 PM PST

    I've seen a lot of people say maintenance is as hard as/harder than losing weight. I've done the whole like specific diet (shakes in my case) for losing a bulk chunk of weight, and that felt like a punishment, you know restricting myself from things I loved. I couldn't wait to be small again so I could go back to eating like a stoned gremlin all the time. I took a lot of solace in food.

    Once the main bit of weight I wanted to lose was gone, the last 10-15 kilos I couldn't really eat like that anymore. I needed to eat regular-degular food. I learned all about calories, went through the "how can I make a whole takeout dinner for 50 calories" crazy scientist crying into my almond milk phase, the "I'll eat my first meal late in the day so I can fit my gremlin night time eating in" thing, basically all of it.

    Over a couple months, after I finished losing the weight I wanted, my mindset has still totally changed, I don't crave the super juicy salty fatty binge stuff much anymore. I still eat some fast food. But I'm still using stevia in my morning coffee, I'm fine staying hungry for a while while I'm waiting for a meal, I'm not eating a premeal while I'm cooking my regular meal. Making new habits has stuck and I don't struggle with maintenance at all. I weighed myself for the first time in like two months ish and realised I've lost about 4 kilos I didn't even mean to lose because I've gotten so comfortable with eating healthier.

    And I don't miss eating like I used to. I had a spaghetti burrito for dinner last night and banana bread I made that night for dessert with (vegan) butter on. But the spaghetti burrito even looked different than the ones I used to have. Avocado, cucumber, capsicum, and cold leftover carbonara made with kale. I had one of those. When spaghetti burrito used to be spaghetti in thick creamy tomato sauce and covered in shredded cheese, stuffed to the point it falls apart and I'm eating loose spaghetti with my hands like a raccoon, and I'd have two or three of those.

    So if you're worried maintenance is going to be the real challenge, I'd focus on like, what you miss and that goblin snack addict mindset. Bc that was what gave me that restrict and binge pattern, I still wanted to eat like that. Now that I don't want to be knee deep in fried chicken like I used to, it's not a problem. I feel just as satisfied with what I eat and how often and how much, without feeling sick and bloated all the time.

    I don't know if stats matter for the sake of this post but I'm female, 5'6.5", started at 92kg/202lbs in December, 61kg/134lbs now. My bmi went from 32 to 21.

    submitted by /u/snoozywaifu
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    Officially under 200, I foolishly I thought this number would make me happier.

    Posted: 10 Dec 2020 03:22 PM PST

    F(30) SW 215ish CW 199.6 GW 150

    I'm having a hard day, I've been waiting for this number on the scale. It felt like it should be significant and give me motivation, but it has done the opposite.

    I have a guy friend I've been loosing weight with and he called me to tell me he hit 195 today. My mind is super focused on the fact that I'm now heavier than him... which I've never been. I'm happy for him, but I'm hating myself and body today more than I did when I started in November.

    I don't have anyone to talk to about this... I don't want to bring my friend down, he's happy he's reached one of his goals and I'm just... despondent after reaching one of mine.

    I hope I wake up tomorrow feeling better... right now I'm having a small glass of wine so I won't drive to the store and buy junk food.

    submitted by /u/Imalooseit
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    Intro post :)

    Posted: 11 Dec 2020 01:25 AM PST

    Hi everybody! I'm gonna be relying on this page quite a bit over the next few months so I'd like to give a little background on myself. I'm a 23 y/o female with a ton of work to do.

    I'm currently at my heaviest weight which I'm ashamed to say is 297lbs. I'm an AEMT and I work in an extremely busy ER. So naturally, this year has taken its toll on my body lol, but I'm doing ok. I'm trying to get into nursing school so I'm on edge most of the time. Food is definitely a crutch for me but I'm trying my hardest to get rid of it.

    Tonight marked my first night of a 16/8 intermittent fasting/ CiCo regimen. I set my goal at 1600 calories a night (I work night shift so my schedule is flipped.) I plan of dividing my cals into two 800 calorie meals. I've tried to do diets like keto but it's just too restrictive for me. I was never full on just meat and low carb vegetables. So, the carbs I plan on incorporating in are going to be unrefined- so no energy bars, granola, cereals, etc. Also, drinking two cups of black coffee and plenty of water.

    Last night, I made sweet potatoes, salmon, and roasted broccoli and I gotta say- it was the first time in a long time that a single plate filled me up. I didn't feel the urge to eat until 5 hours later which was unbelievable. Another huge game changer was not mindlessly eating in front of a screen. I made dinner and my fiance and I sat at the table and ate.

    I know that I'm gonna mess up along the way. I think actually experiencing a night where I didn't mess up at all is proof to myself that I can get back on it when I do.

    Thanks for reading this far- that was a long one. I appreciate it. Be safe :)

    submitted by /u/almc0418
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    Tracking my resting heart rate stops me from over-eating

    Posted: 10 Dec 2020 06:35 AM PST

    I (28F) have always had a high resting heart rate, even when I've been eating well, working out daily, and at a healthy weight. Doctors would always ask if I was nervous (a joke that got old quick) but never really talked about it beyond that. I'm also an anxious creature with a bad coffee habit so I figured that didn't help things. When I went to my doctor in July for a well-check, my resting heart rate was at about 90. My doctor wasn't concerned and said so long as it stuck below 100, some people just have high resting heart rates and I shouldn't be worried. Since mine had been high my whole life and I didn't pay too much attention to it on my Fitbit, I just kind of took it in stride.

    Then I started asking my friends with heart rate trackers what theirs were. The highest anyone told me was around 65 which I thought was crazy; in all my time having a fitness tracker (probably ~ 5 years) I had NEVER had a consistent resting heart rate that low. The lowest I ever reached was 69, and that was when I was able to hit the gym every day and be active at work. I decided to keep an eye on it just in case I noticed any patterns.

    And I did. I have a problem with over-eating which was triggered by a recovery from anorexia in college. And again... anxious creature, with a coping mechanism of eating too much food. I noticed that when I over-ate, sometimes I would be sitting on the couch, completely still, and my resting heart rate would be at 104-105. It wasn't much higher than the doctor's "be worried" limit, but it scared me to death. I looked it up and sure enough; your heart has to work harder when you eat, and especially hard if you over-eat.

    I'm still not at a healthy weight for my height (5'0, ~ 143lbs.) but I've stopped over-eating for the last week and my average resting heart rate has already gone from 80 to 74. It's an incredibly stressful time at work right now for me and I haven't been able to work out as much as I'd like but I'm coping in other ways and seeing my heart working less hard primarily because of my eating decisions has really improved my mental health.

    I thought maybe this could be helpful for others. It's not often that I think about weight loss in terms of why I need to do it to keep my body healthy (which I know should be the main reason, but it never has been for me before), but now it's THE most important thing.

    Edit: a word

    submitted by /u/jr445374
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    NSV - My neighbor noticed my weight loss! ("WOAH you've lost a lot of weight!")

    Posted: 10 Dec 2020 02:38 PM PST

    Hey, y'all! Before I get into the bulk of the post, here are some stats:

    • 5'3 trans man
    • HW 265 / SW 256.8 / CW 205 (51.8lbs lost) / GW 170-180ish?
    • Size changes: XL -> M shirt / 44 -> 38 pants / 10.5 -> 8 shoe
    • Normally I work out (run + lift) regularly, but I've been on my butt due to surgery. Recently began feeling good enough to start walking around my neighborhood, still not comfortable with running/lifting yet.
    • Eat ~1500-1800 calories/day. Increased my calories to increase my metabolism (it was wayyy too low to be able to continue losing safely), maintained my weight for a little while, but was still losing inches. Recently started losing weight naturally again, w/o decreasing calories.
    • My diet varies, but it's mostly higher-protein, lower-carb. I eat a lot of eggs and various meats and I eat a fair amount of groceries. My staples are:
      • High-protein frozen waffles + Brown n Serve sausages (for quick breakfasts)
      • Eggs
      • In-season vegetables
      • Various meats (including deli meats and fresh meat and dino nuggets)
      • Low-carb bread (this is new)
      • Almonds + Quest protein chips + Babybels for snacks
      • Two Good yogurt
      • Sugar-free creamer
      • Diet sodas + diet energy drinks (+ coffee and tea)

    Okay, the actual post:

    I haven't been going around my neighborhood a lot lately. About 5 or 6 weeks ago I had an emergency appendectomy, and that recovery lasted way longer than I anticipated. Not only that but as soon as I started feeling good enough to start walking I got slammed with work for class. I didn't really have time to exercise. I was still following my diet, but I just wasn't getting any exercise.

    Well, this week is finals, and I actually have time to go walk around my neighborhood! My study schedule is flexible enough that I can take time out of my day to de-stress.

    I was enjoying my walk, and on the way back I saw my neighbor. We waved, and she stopped and turned around.

    She looked at me, her eyes kind of widened, and she said, "WOAH! You've lost a lot of weight! You look GOOD! How do you feel???"

    Not knowing how exactly I should respond to that, I laughed and said thank you, I'm feeling great. She said she hadn't seen me around lately, but she normally sees me working out and going for runs around the neighborhood.

    We chatted for a bit, and she said, "It looks like you've done the opposite of the COVID weight gain!"

    And I'm just so happy! I'm really surprised she noticed it because I'm wearing a big sweater and a tee-shirt underneath. I've also been feeling kind of down because I haven't been able to work out, and even though I'm losing again it's been slower.

    But I'm so happy she noticed! Even in a giant sweater and in the dark somebody noticed my weight loss! And that feels good!

    submitted by /u/queerlycatholic
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    Down 62 pounds since March, 240-278. AMA

    Posted: 10 Dec 2020 11:29 PM PST

    Male, 21, 6'2. So thought I might share what's been up with me. Got up to 240 in March, ending up losing all of my muscle during quarantine but also lost around 15 pounds within the first month. Just kept going down from there, was around 200 by the end of August. Fat was just melting off, although i was restricting way to extremely, eating less than 1000 calories several times a week. Never went over 1500 since I started, not once.

    Jean size went from 38-31, Shirt size from XL to almost a medium, and got insane face gains (also grew a beard tho lol). Holy shit it feels good. Now I'm 178, and real close to my target weight, although i look frail as hell. Cannot wait until january when I can start packing muscle on again. Can finally start working abs! If anyone has any questions or ppl just starting out please let me know I'd love to share more or help out a bit.

    edit: also, didn't mention, but this was on 0 minutes of cardio total. never did any of it.

    submitted by /u/Takumi_Minamino
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    327.6 to 189.4 in 2 years (-17 days) - ALL the lessons (Loooooong but hopefully helpful advice)

    Posted: 10 Dec 2020 06:56 AM PST

    I started this at my heaviest ever, 327.6, in January of 2019. I mapped this out as a three year journey. Goal for the end of 2020 was 196lbs. I chose that number because a) under 200 b) no longer obese (am 5'8) c) it meant 0.5lb a week for 52 weeks in year 3 to hit my goal weight d) while it wasn't a small amount of weight at 131.6 it seemed achievable when done over 104 weeks at just over 1.25 lbs per week.

    So 199 was goal 1, followed by 196 as stretch goal, then 189.4 (see below) followed by 187.6 (-140bs) as the final probably not achievable but might as well have it as a goal anyway, goal.

    I hit 189.4 today which means I am now (at age 45) at my lowest adult weight ever! While there are 17 days left to go in my year (I weigh in Sundays so Dec 27 is the last weigh in, I just really felt it this morning and decided on a rare mid-week weight check) I thought I would post this earlier than I had planned and share some lessons learned from my 3rd and, hopefully, final go around at this.

    Lessons from failure #1 1999-2001 (269 to 189.5)

    • Don't let day to day life get away from you. This was the classic "100 extra calories a day on average over time" gotcha. It took 6 years to go back up to the low 240's and 14 years to hit 294 (attempt #2). I wasn't eating six chocolate bars a day or guzzling 17 beers at a time, I was just eating moderately poorly most of the time and that just gets you over time. Weigh in weekly FOREVER. "Our" natural eating regime is what got us into this in the first place, I'd accept that you just have to monitor this continually.

    • Don't think "I'm done" and stop doing what got you down in the first place. I hit 189.5 and was like HA HA DONE! And then proceeded to go on a million dates (with high calorie dinners), largely stopped going to the gym (I still played squash but always found a reason to bail on the pre or post-match workout, and didn't go on days when I didn't have a game planned) and otherwise threw all my good habits out the window. As per above, I didn't regain it all in a week but month by month I packed on the pounds and undid all that brutal effort.

    Lessons from failure #2 2014-2015 (294 to 237)

    • Stress workout, don't stress eat. Long story short my father went over a cliff (dementia, angry Alzheimer's, pancreatic cancer) and 2015 was just a nightmare of stress and all that work went poof (it started just as I hit the 230's) as I grabbed every burrito and burger I could on the way home from the hospital. Some weight gain, sure, ALL the weight gain and then some? Should never have let that happen. It took four years to get the oomph back to restart and by then I was my heaviest ever.

    • Don't rely on others for motivation. I was in a weight loss group at the time (of friends) and they saw me eating terribly and nobody said one f'ing word. No "Gee, Alex, I know times are really stressful but maybe don't eat a giant burrito and a bag of chips for dinner every night". I think part of me (from my history with my shitty father) ended up trying to spite them for their lack of caring by eating shittier (dumb hunh?). If you allow others to fuel your motivation then what do you do if they let you down?

    Lessons from success #1 2019-present (327.6 to 189.4)

    • You have to want this for more than vague reasons. While I'd like to think that "not die of a heart attack at 50" is a great reason, it's very hard to stay motivated and suffer today for the possibility of some future negative reality. How many people floss furiously two days before going to the dentist and then not again until two days before the next appointment? How many people make a Jan 1 vow to "lose weight" and stick to it? My rationale was this trip that I REALLY want to do that requires a level of fitness. That's literally it. I want to see Mount Everest with my own eyes and do this 18 day hike in Nepal. I can't tell you why that hit the right spot for me but it does. So, if you can, find a compelling reason to change your life and make it so compelling that it is always going to outweigh the instant gratification of eating junk or not working out.

    • Start weight training right away. I frequently see (terrible) advice that you should get down to your goal before adding weight training. I see so many benefits it's not funny. Not only does muscle burn calories at rest, it fills up loose skin, has made me more confident and I look WAY better at this weight than if I hadn't done any resistance training.

    • A huge amount of progress can be made with relatively low amounts of effort. I lost the first 52.8lbs averaging 2017 calories a day and doing less than 2 hours of exercise a week (over 26 weeks) while being sedentary otherwise. Nothing gets me madder than seeing "I eat 1200 calories a day as a 6ft 25 year old dude" posts. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO KILL YOURSELF to get most of the way there. Sure, if you want 10% body fat and to be shredded then you have to live at the gym but you can get 60-70% to your goal running a reasonable deficit and doing some exercise.

    • Make this a priority. Unless you died, are getting married or are having a baby, don't call me on gym night. I am happy to re-arrange gym nights to make room for fun but the gym is going to happen four days of a week (pre-covid) so I am going to choose the gym over other stuff. Put yourself first.

    • See this as a process not an end goal. You know what changed for me today? Nothing. A cute woman didn't knock on my door to flirt. An amazing career opportunity wasn't waiting for me when I checked email. I weighed in, went yay, and am moving on with my day. Know what happens when people win gold medals? They often get SUPER depressed. They have worked so hard to get it and now the goal is achieved and they have no idea what to do with themselves. The goal is not to hit X weight, it's to live a fulfilling life and that's a lifelong process. Don't make hitting X weight the be all and end all because then you hit it and all that energy disappears. Maintaining X is never going to be as sexy as "losing" is.

    • Or have the next goal queued up! Goal is 170 by end of 2021. Next goal after that Is Everest base camp hike end of 2022, then Kilimanjaro 2023 then something else. Keep that carrot out there. If I can keep a goal that intrigues me and requires fitness then I can stay engaged and keep going.

    • Related: I think people have this lottery like feeling for weight loss. One day you are poor the next you win and you are filthy rich. It's taken 711 days to go from day 1 to today. 711. So, when you hit your goal it's important to know that if you feel underwhelmed by your own response that's natural. You aren't going to jump around and go crazy because when you started the goal was to lose say 100lbs but achieving your goal actually just means losing slightly more than last week, if that makes sense.

    • Do the work once. I keep a "calories per gram" bible on top of my microwave. It has pretty much everything I regularly eat in terms of its calories per gram. For every recipe or dish, do the work to create the calories and then you never have to do that work again. Whether you do it on MFP or some other website or manually (like me), future you will thank you for doing the math and writing it down. Anything you can do to make this easier on yourself is going to be a good call long term.

    • Willpower is limited. I always say it this way. It's not getting through 24 hours that's the problem. Dieting is a breeze 23:45 a day. It's those 15 minutes worth of moments over the course of the day that get you. I can eat 600 calories of twizzlers in 4 minutes and poof a great day goes to mediocre, 600 more and it's a bad day. So, where possible, put yourself in a position not to have to need to use any willpower. Pre-plan meals, cut up your veggies the night before, don't have junk in the house etc..etc… make your life as easy as possible to stick to good habits.

    • In the same vein, use your time wisely. Know what I am doing when veggies are roasting for dinner? Doing any advance prep I can for the next night's dinner. When I make burgers (from scratch, obvs this would not make sense with burgers that you are buying pre made) I make like 6-8 and freeze them so I have an easy dinner for when I don't want to cook. One of the big problems with losing weight is that it absolutely adds work to your day and if you arrive home at 6pm and have to cut up butternut squash and do this and do that then you are more likely to grab crap on the way home. I am always thinking about tomorrow and using whatever dead time I have while cooking to do advance work for the next day.

    • Put it on the schedule. Exercise is not something I love every day but it is on the schedule so I (mostly) do it. If I am feeling really ragged then sure I will take a day off but it's far easier to just do it because it's a thing you do as part of the schedule than trying to be motivated every single day.

    • Build up to it. We are heading into Jan which is the land of "I am going to lose all the weight by TOMORROW" when people go hog wild and come up with insane plans that are doomed to fail. You are simply not going to do 7 hours of cardio in your first week. Set realistic goals and increase the exercise load slowly. The point is not to have you set a goal that you can only fulfill on a day when you are crazy motivated but a goal you can gut through on a day when you aren't. The largest amount of cardio I've ever done in a week is six hours on the bike. It took like 90 weeks to get to that level. My first week I did three 15 minute sessions on the treadmill at 3mph.

    • Map this out. My goal for the end of this year was based on 2lb per week for 6 months, then 1.5, 1 and 0.5. Which is 130lbs in two years and then 0.5 for all of year three to get me to 156 (actual goal 157.6)…that's fully HALF of three years at a 0.5lb per week average. What that does is a) give me some breathing room calorie wise b) means that on day 1 I knew this would going to be a looooong slog but it also set short/medium and long term goals that put me in a realistic mindset. This is not going to be solved tomorrow and you are way more likely to stick with it if you map it out as a realistic project. And if you are ahead of plan then bonus.

    • Be kind (but fair) to yourself. If you had a shitty day then buck up and don't make it worse but negative self talk doesn't do you any good. You are not a piece of garbage for having a bad day or even outright failing, this is crazy hard. BUT don't give yourself outs. "I had a bad day" is not a reason to eat garbage. "But I am lazy" is not a good reason not to make a healthy dinner. The habits do not develop overnight and you have to work at it.

    • Limiting apocalyptic days is more important, imho, than anything else. In two years I've had EIGHT days over 3000 calories. That's 1 every 98.5 days (and that's two birthdays, two Christmases (2020 is already penciled in as one), one NYE, two thanksgivings and one random crap day) The math is simple...6 1700 calorie days and 1 5000 calorie day is worse than 7 2000 calorie days. I am a firm believer that this is best accomplished not with feast/famine but with a regular moderate deficit, plus training your body that 2000 calories (or whatever for you) is normal is better than starve starve starve EAT EVERYTHING starve starve starve.

    • Understand who your allies are (and who they aren't). Lots of people end up surprised that their friends or family aren't supportive. People don't like change and you changing threatens the status quo. Do not let people sabotage or guilt you. Anyone who demands you eat the apple pie they cooked is not on your side. Be strong.

    • Understand that most people, frankly, don't care about your journey. So many people want affirmation and cheers and I understand that, but your getting married, buying a house, going on a trip etc… is a you thing. If you let yourself be governed by what others say or don't say then you are giving away all your power. If somebody says you look great then yay, but don't expect people to be invested in your trying to lose weight.

    • Don't only think about the end goal. There is a looooot of weight between 170 and 327.6. Even hitting 250 would be of huge benefit. If I stopped at say 225 I'd still be overweight but at a 38 waist I could shop in every store, I could fit XL's etc…etc…. the point is don't just focus on the end goal, focus on the progress along the way and it will make you happier.

    • So many people worry about like loose skin before they have even lost a pound. That's the equivalent about stressing about what Ferrari to buy when you win the lottery (with the ticket you just bought ). You have to focus on today so stop worrying about hypotheticals a year from now. You can always stop losing weight or regain it if you really want to. Stop giving yourself reasons not to do this!

    • Think about what works for you. Personally, I love data, I track everything I have goals mapped out, I have gamified the entire process. But you are different, so come up with things that work for you. There are lots of ways for different approaches to all hit the same result.

    • Give it a chance. I can't say I love calorie counting but, at this point, it's just a thing I do. I don't know that I even think about it much. I know the calories per gram of most of the meats and veggies I eat by heart. It's not going to become a habit overnight and so give an approach an adequate amount of time. You may find that once you've gotten it down (whatever that is) that it isn't as onerous as it first seemed. Maybe 30 min of cardio while listening to podcasts will become the best part of your day.

    • Don't let slow progress get you down and/or expect certain results for a weigh in. Weight loss is weird. Some weeks you are going to eat well and exercise and lose nothing. Others you are going to eat mediocre and lose 3lbs. Over time eating poorly is not going to result in weight loss, obvs, but on an individual week the results are not going to be 1:1 what you expect. Try to emotionally distance yourself from the scale. And that's hard, at every major goal point I get really angry when I have a good week and can't crack it. But that anger doesn't do anyone any good. So, instead, reflect on how far you've come and give it another week (or two). You will get there!

    • Find a food regime that is going to work long term. Anyone can go a week (if necessary) on an all Twinkie diet of 1500 calories a day. The key to this is to create food habits that work long term. I have discovered that roasted butternut squash, green beans and broccoli are great. I have 25 different spice rubs for fish and chicken in my pantry. I am never not going to love a pub burger, fries and a beer but it is entirely possible to eat clean five days a week with food I enjoy and then have a pub burger on the 6th or 7th day and have it even out on the week calorie wise.

    • "Nobody's coming for you". Seriously, this is a you thing. A lot of people post for advice and this community, including me, is happy to help…but…you are going to do this…I, and everyone else, have their own shit to deal with…if you need somebody to show up at your door every day to push you to exercise then what happens when they get the flu? You no longer exercise? What happens when your supportive partner isn't there that night and you have to make yourself dinner or order in? You have to own this.

    • Start fresh every four months. One of my middle journey mistakes (talking 13 weeks to get through the 230's when every other 10lb block had taken 6 or fewer) was that I was still thinking of myself as a 330lb guy trying to lose weight rather than a 240lb guy. Every so often you have to reset your calorie targets and goals based on what you weigh now. Every lb you lose means you no longer need calories to maintain that lb. So recalculate your TDEE and go from there. I think most plateaus are, frankly either poor tracking or poor goals in relation to your current weight. Once I dropped my calorie targets I started busting through the 10lbs blocks at a decent speed again (7.25 week average to get through 220, 210, 200, 190).

    • Listen to your body. I take every 10th week off from exercise because eventually I just break down. I looked at my stats and noticed that about every 10 weeks my output crashed so now I just schedule the break. Exercise is wonderful but everyone needs rest to both recuperate and let your muscles rebuild stronger. My set schedule is four days of exercise a week with an optional cardio 5th day if I am feeling up to it.

    There you have it...hopefully some of this resonated and is helpful.

    So…if wondering, I am shooting for 187.6 over the next 17 days (-1.8) and will hopefully hit that. That would put me 140lbs down with 17.6 to go. The plan for year 3 is pretty simple. Lose 0.4 lbs a week / get fitter. Obvs I'd love to come out of the gate strong and hit like 175 by end of June but every lb now is going to be a grind and I think setting a reasonable goal is better for now, so cracking 180 seems reasonable.

    Last point. If I a 45 year old crazy sedentary guy who woke up every morning walking like an 80 year old (my achilles tendons were in rough shape) and had bad knees and a bad back and was single (still am lol) and depressed out of his gourd can figure out a way to drop 138+ lbs and still be crazy motivated, then you can too!!!

    submitted by /u/thatguyalex2018
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    Slow and steady wins the race

    Posted: 10 Dec 2020 07:40 PM PST

    Im a 5'5 25 year old female. Like a lot of people I've gone through stages of weightloss and gain where I start a diet and then gain all the weight back and repeat. I commonly workout but not enough to burn how much I eat.

    2020 has been particularly bad for my weight. I started the year around 135ish thinking I would go down to about 130 and since then I went up to about 152 lbs. Between not having to see anyone and being snuggled up with my man all year I was too comfortable to notice my weight.

    The week I saw the scale in the 150s I knew I was at a point of no return and I was officially undeniably over weight. I didn't feel too bad about my appearance until I realized none of my clothes were fitting anymore and my arms looked exceptionally fat in photos.

    The next morning I woke up I started to count my calories and did my usual workout. That week was Nov 25th.

    I've been following a zipper diet where one day I eat 1100 calories and the next day I eat around 1300- 1500. I alternate back and forth everyday so I'm not going into starvation mode and I can still enjoy a few treats especially with the holidays.

    Since Nov 25th I am now down to 147 lbs today bringing me down 5lbs in 2 and a halfish weeks. It's not a fast weight loss or a dramatic one, but one that is easy to maintain and doesn't leave me craving the end.

    My end goal is 125 lbs so on this trajectory I should get to my goal in 11 weeks or 2 and half months.

    To everyone on the same journey as I am good luck! We can do it!

    submitted by /u/Sagesque
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    Uneven bathroom floor can 100% ruin your week; please be sure to put your scale on a level ground.

    Posted: 10 Dec 2020 12:36 PM PST

    Ugh, so I haven't really weighed myself in a while, but I've been really good with portions and eating a lot less. I've also been intermittent fasting off and on for a few weeks, but it was all very casual (no logging, 18 hr fasts, the usual).

    I weighed myself last Monday and saw that I was under 250, which hasn't been done in years. I got some wind in my sails. Cautiously excited, I adjusted to a 23:1 fasting schedule.

    Weighed myself this morning and I was 240!!! I was ecstatically happy and just closed my eyes and felt happy for the first time in years. Doing a little happy dance, I told my boyfreind.

    Wanting to feel that again, I jumped on the scale at lunch... 260. Wtf? I jumped off and adjusted it. 267. What. The. Fuck.

    After some investigating, it turns out my bathroom floor is so uneven that weight can fluctuate 30lbs on the electronic scale. I barely lost any weight at all.

    Save yourself the heartache and embaressment weigh yourself on concrete. Trust me.

    submitted by /u/GreenWitchyWoman
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    Does anyone else have a specific binge mindset?

    Posted: 10 Dec 2020 07:17 PM PST

    I have binge eating my whole life. I'm am just now at the point where I want to take control of it and stop letting it consume me. I have been eating cleaner for about a week and today I will admit I didn't eat as much as I should have.

    So naturally when I got home from my day events, I felt the need to binge. It was like a mental war with myself. In the shower I thought about how good it would be to eat some fudge that my roommate brought home (for everyone there is a CRAZY amount and horribly tempting). And I kinda fought with myself about it.

    I ended up only going to the kitchen and have one small piece. Then I went back to my room and still felt this urge to eat. I'm not even necessarily hungry? I went to my room to look at all the snacks I haven't yet thrown out and took out a bag of the Dorito taki things and I ate one before my boyfriend nudged me and it kind of snapped me back. So I decided I still wanted to eat but I might as well eat something healthier.

    I went to the kitchen and grabbed an apple and decided to make popcorn, stoved popped not microwave. But I also decided to add a few chocolate chips. Nothing crazy but it definitely curbed my sweet tooth for the moment.

    As you can see I didn't binge, but I was close too it. I'm am proud of myself for not but I still felt that edge of the cliff spiral and was very tempted to weigh myself after. I'm not necessarily asking for advice, just generally sharing but if you did read this I appreciate it. And if you have any tips I would also love to hear them 😄

    submitted by /u/brookekp86
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    I am going to be a bit rude with the people pushing food on me from now on

    Posted: 11 Dec 2020 12:29 AM PST

    I am 24 Female - 5'6 and 64 kgs. I gained some weight in a really stressful job [ everyone would eat out everyday and if you didnt go you were the weirdo] and since then have lost the weight 8 kgs. and I aim to lose 2-4 kgs more. I know eating lunch is networking and I know I cannot be rude to people I work with but so far I have had to eat pizza, ice cream, burgers etc all because of team outings. So I purposely order the low fat versions or just indulge. Once becomes twice and twice becomes every week and then every other day we are eating junk food.

    I have decided to say no. And then not explain why? just NOPE. They can be pissed. One woman even held my hand and said look you're so thin, look at you, you don't need to watch what you eat. Hello, I am not thin and secondly why do you think I watch what I eat. WTF?

    submitted by /u/womanwithmadness
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    NSV: my favorite workout shorts now slide off when I run (SW:185, CW:160.6, GW: 145, 5’5” F)

    Posted: 10 Dec 2020 06:57 PM PST

    Finished my run holding the elastic you can use to tighten the waist band- am I supposed to tie that in a knot? I've never had to use one before!

    When I started working out I bought myself nice workout clothes to motivate myself and treat myself (if anyone is interested, I like zella & lululemon and get them from Poshmark to save money). One of my favorite shorts now slide down when I run. I flashed the top of my undies at some poor folks walking their dogs. Oops

    I got here doing CICO and partway through started working out 4-5 times a week. I've lost a lot of weight in the past (20-30 pounds at least twice) and gained it back so I'm making an effort to intentionally go slower this time. I don't want to beat myself up to the point of giving up. And I want to rewire my brain to have better habits- that takes time.

    15 more pounds to go. Might take me another 5-6 months, and that's okay. Hope this helps someone on the slow train with me!

    submitted by /u/furikakebabe
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    30 Day Accountability Challenge - Day 10

    Posted: 10 Dec 2020 05:07 PM PST

    Hello losers,

    Took a couple extra hours off work today to destress. I'm part way into a 14 day in a row stretch, wish me luck!

    Weight: Not this morning.

    Stay within calorie range (maintain at 2000 ish): Not fabulous today. I'm still logging & striving kids.

    Exercise 5 days a week: Rest day. 4/9 days.

    Self-care journaling (once a week, 60 minutes): Yep. Not as enjoyable as I'd like it to be but I'm sure it was good for me. 1/1 week.

    Try a new recipe once a week: Roasting some rutabaga right now & have my eye on a new green chili recipe. 1/1 weeks

    Express gratitude, mindfulness or HOLIDAY CHEER: Today I'm grateful for quesadillas, family of choice, semi reasonable managers & warm toes provided by good socks or space heaters or fluffy aminal buddies. My cat's not a foot sitter but the feeling when a dog sits on your foot & then looks up at you with all the love. So good.

    Your turn!

    submitted by /u/Mountainlioness404d
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    Daily Q&A Post for Friday, 11 December 2020 - No question too small!

    Posted: 11 Dec 2020 02:00 AM PST

    Got a question? We've got answers!

    Do you have question but don't want to make a whole post? that's fine. Ask right here! What is on your mind? Everyone is welcome to ask questions or provide answers. No question is too minor or small.

    TIPS:

    • Include your stats if appropriate/relevant (or better yet, update your flair!)
    • Check the FAQ and other resources in the sidebar!
    submitted by /u/AutoModerator
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    [Challenge] European Accountability Challenge: December 11th, 2020

    Posted: 10 Dec 2020 10:09 PM PST

    Hi team Euro accountability, I hope you're all well!

    For anyone new who wants to join today, this is a daily post where you can track your goals, keep yourself accountable, get support and have a chat with friendly people at times that are convenient for European time zones. Check-in daily, weekly, or whatever works best for you. It's never the wrong time to join! Anyone and everyone are welcome! Tell us about yourself and let's continue supporting each other.

    Let us know how your day is going, or, if you're checking in early, how your yesterday went!

    Share your victories, rants, problems, NSVs, SVs, we are here!

    I want to shortly also mention — this thread lives and breathes by people supporting each other :) so if you have some time, comment on the other posts! Show support, offer advice and share experiences!

    submitted by /u/visilliis
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    Where do I begin if I'm totally out of shape?

    Posted: 10 Dec 2020 11:02 PM PST

    I'm currently 22 years old and weigh around 195 pounds, I'm probably in the worst shape I've ever been. I've dealt with being overweight on and off because since I was young, I became accustomed to eating mostly junk food which also led to overeating. I was my skinniest probably in 7th grade since they made you run laps etc in gym. Now I'm not in school or with no job, I haven't had a workout in forever. I do briskly walk outside (not everyday) only for like 30 minutes, and I get kinda winded so that says it all.

    I've been trying to eat less, but I still eat shitty. I'm going fully cold turkey today, just pure healthy food because I can't take the fatigue, the weight etc. I've been to a hospital recently (thought it was pneumonia I had at that time) everything checked out okay thankfully yet I know I'm still out of shape and need to change that asap. Though where do I even begin? Eating/calorie wise I know I need to make a deficit and I got that covered but how much exercise do I start off with?

    I'm genuinely curious because earlier I started working out with some amazon workout video, a beginners thing that lasts 30 minutes. I literally only lasted maybe 15. I was seriously embarrassed because at one point I even ended up falling during some squatting exercise. I guess I'm not that used to squatting for that long like in a fast manner too. So how long would any of yall recommend I exercise for/what exercises should I do? I'm thinking definitely walking for 30 minutes twice a day, once at morning and then around evening. But besides that what else could I do? Also are there any workout or general fitness apps yall would recommend?

    Any advice or input at all I'd really appreciate.

    Edit: Thank you very much to those who have responded/are responding, didn't know if this was gonna get any traction, so I'm shook lol and also grateful.

    submitted by /u/user195898
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    Mantra from a Mr. Rogers song

    Posted: 10 Dec 2020 11:23 AM PST

    I was scrolling through YouTube a few weeks ago and stumbled upon Mr. Rogers' defense of PBS budget to the senate (a fabulous goose-bump inspiring watch, would recommend: https://youtu.be/fKy7ljRr0AA )

    But in it, Mr. Rogers recites the lyrics to one of his songs, originally for being angry, but it was so appropriate for feeling in control of binge/ emotional eating that I just wanted to share it, as it has been helping me the last couple weeks control when I'm stressed and standing in front of kitchen cabinets.

    It's great to be able to stop

    When you've planned a thing that's wrong,

    And be able to do something else instead

    And think this song:

    I can stop when I want to

    Can stop when I wish

    I can stop, stop, stop any time.

    And what a good feeling to feel like this

    And know that the feeling is really mine.

    The two lines of: I can stop when I want to Can stop when I wish In particular seem to give me the energy I need to control the underlying emotion. Thank you Mr. Rogers!

    submitted by /u/arisena
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    Free Talk Friday for 11 December 2020 - Come Talk About Anything!

    Posted: 10 Dec 2020 09:00 PM PST

    Happy Friday everyone! Free Talk Friday is a free discussion post. Come talk about anything you want, whether it's health/fitness related or not.

    So tell us, what's on your mind today? Any fun plans for the weekend?

    (Credit to u/HermionesBook for running these in the past.)

    submitted by /u/AutoModerator
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    53% of my goal achieved! Goodbye kangaroo pouch!

    Posted: 10 Dec 2020 03:19 AM PST

    TW: abuse, suicide of a friend

    When I was a kid, my mom would tell me I have a kangaroo pouch for a stomach. She was obese since early adulthood and said a lot of shit you just don't say to kids (or anyone really, but especially not to kids). My sisters and I have all been hyper-aware and concerned about our weights and at least one sister (that I know of) and I have struggled with disordered eating. After high school, I gained 18kg.

    A lot of what went on when I was a kid (ie. Emotional, mental and physical abuse and neglect) led me to up and move thousands of kilometers away. I'm now married, a rabbit mom and I'm trying to figure things out.

    The country I grew up in is notorious for unhealthy eating and the country I moved to is in most cases much more health conscious. I learned a lot about healthy living from the host family I originally lived with and from my husband and his family. It's been slow going and I've had trouble losing weight, despite making healthy changes. I lost 10kg pretty randomly a few years ago. When I moved, I weighed 90kg.

    Last year I stayed at a psychiatric hospital for a bit and decided it was time to work on my mental health instead of working and studying all the time. This year, I was starting to do better, but wasn't completely happy with myself. I knew that was mostly a therapy topic, but I decided to focus a bit more on physical health. I started working out every other day. At first I was still not eating proper amounts and was drinking far too much far too often, so there weren't really any results. Slowly but surely, I started weighing food to learn proper portion sizes and trying to change my thinking (ie. "I could eat sour gummies or drink come, but I don't want to because I don't like what it does to my body" or "this workout is hard and I could stop, but I don't want to, because I want to lose weight and become stronger and I can do hard things"), which has been a really difficult, but seemingly effective change. It also really helped recognizing that I need control and finding a healthy way to exercise it.

    This summer, I received a diagnosis I wasn't happy about and shortly after that, a friend of mine took her own life and while that was incredibly difficult, I surprised myself by being able to easily lean on working out (especially running) and drawing as a support, while processing, instead of alcohol and food.

    I started this year at 80kg. I had a bit of a plateau after summer and felt discouraged, but I upped Cardio and worked on portion sizes and stated avoiding sugar and processed foods. This morning I weighed in at 69,6. I've achieved 53% of my weight loss goal. I'm so proud of myself for what I've achieved! I've always struggled with seeing myself in a positive light, so it's an even bigger deal for me that I can say that too.

    Thank you all for your support and community!

    submitted by /u/kauzige
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